


liked it, put a ring on it

by fiveyaaas



Series: under mistletoe [14]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Marriage Proposal, Wedding Fluff, Weddings, this isn’t actually crack bc i refuse to believe five wouldn’t act like this about marrying vanya, ”vanya we share a house and a bed and spend all of our time together”, ”wtf did you THINK this was”, ”you mean to tell me we are in a relationship”
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28356792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas/pseuds/fiveyaaas
Summary: “When they were eleven years old, Five and Seven Hargreeves made a pact that 1) they would be best friends forever and 2) they would marry one another if they were still single when they turned 50. (Seven had been the one to suggest being best friends forever, and Five had been the one to suggest getting married.)”
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Series: under mistletoe [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2036878
Comments: 21
Kudos: 105
Collections: Harcest Ficmas 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pacoca](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pacoca/gifts).



> Ideally, the rest of fiveya fic-mas will be posted before I go to sleep tonight, but I’m going ahead and posting three fics back to back so that I don’t delay posting them any longer!!!

When they were eleven years old, Five and Seven Hargreeves made a pact that 1) they would be best friends forever and 2) they would marry one another if they were still single when they turned 50. (Seven had been the one to suggest being best friends forever, and Five had been the one to suggest getting married.)

Twenty years later, after Seven started being called Vanya and was 31 years old, she still technically remembered this agreement, but she had never thought that  _ Five _ (still called Five because ‘I already have a name, Vanya’) did. 

Which is why, while he casually mentioned it while he worked on an assignment for one of his college classes (‘I already know all of this shit, but, hey, it beats being an assassin’), she spat out her drink in shock. 

“What now?” Vanya asked, once he had patted her back a few times to stop her from choking. 

“Well, I mean, I was just asking how that worked when  _ I  _ am 58, but you are 31. I feel that the agreement would have had to account for adjustments with chronokinesis though, considering the fact that it is a power I’ve technically had since I was born. However, as I wasn’t time-traveling during that age, I would be willing to wait until you are forty years old as a compromise.”

“I… Did you just  _ propose  _ to me?”

_ “Technically,  _ I proposed to you when I was eleven. Though I suppose I never got you a ring, then.”

“Right, and you have a ring now?” Vanya said, attempting to sound joking and not like she was having a panic attack. 

“Oh, right, yes. One sec.” He fiddled through one of the pockets in his jacket, and she gaped at him in bewilderment. “Now, I got silver to match the locket, and I went with emerald rather than diamond because I know you dislike diamonds. However, if you’d like a more classic gold and diamond combo or whatever else, I could get you another. I actually have plenty more in a safety deposit box, from several time periods. I didn’t even steal any of them because you’ve always been so finicky about that kind of thing.”

“You… got me a ri- multiple rings to propose with? Based on an agreement we made when we were  _ eleven?” _

“Precisely. Could you try it on, though? I had to estimate sizes, but I can always get them re-sized for you at any moment.”

She made another strangled noise, and he furrowed his brows in confusion. “Why do you like you’re going to throw up?”

“How do you even  _ remember  _ that?”

“We made a pinky promise… I wasn’t going to just forget that.”

“You’re saying you want to marry me because you made a pinky promise when you were eleven?”

“I want to marry you because I love you and would like to spend the rest of my life with you and call you my wife. However, the timeline is based on a pinky promise I made at eleven, yes.”

She frowned at him. Since he had gotten the adult body, either miscalculating to make himself forty or doing so on purpose to spite them, she had gotten the idea that he  _ thought  _ of them developing this into something more, but she’d never thought that  _ this  _ was the way he intended to do it. “Are you actually saying that you wanted to get married?”

“Well, we can wait a bit if you’d like, but, yes, I do want to get married to you.  _ Plus,  _ you agreed to it too. Technically.”

“Don’t you think that we should be in some sort of relationship before we are  _ married?” _

“We _are_ in a relationship.”

_ “What?” _

“Well, yeah. We live together and sleep in the same bed and spend all of our free time together. That’s a relationship.”

“We haven’t even had  _ sex.”  _

“I mean, if you’d like to add that first, sure, but tons of people don’t have sex with their partner before marriage.”

Her left eye twitched. “So you’re telling me that we are in a relationship-”

“Yes.”

“And that we have been for over a year-”

“Yes.”

“And that you want to get  _ married.” _

“Yes, all of these statements are accurate.”

“Are you serious?”

“Of course I am. Is your problem with the ring? I could get you another ring if you’d like, it’s not a huge deal.”

“How can you not…” She inhaled sharply. “You know what? Sure, Five. If you still want to get married in three months, we will go to the courthouse, hell, Vegas even, and we’ll get married.”

“Alright, excellent. I’ll arrange some sort of elaborate vacation for the others to go on. That way, they won’t bother us on that day, which will certainly put a damper on our wedding.”

She set her head in her hands.

* * *

The next three months were… odd, to say the least. She got the idea that Five was trying to prove some sort of point or was just trying to vex her for causing the apocalypse. It seemed like an oddly specific punishment, but she couldn’t fathom why else he did so much for her to ensure that she was happy. Even the smallest problems she had, he went out of his way to help her with them. 

At one point, she sort of accepted this behavior, figuring she could get something out of dealing with his absurdity. She had a lot of problems with her apartment, and he was surprisingly talented at fixing everything, which kept her from having to hire a contractor most of the time. After long, stressful days of work, he was always willing to help her in any way she asked. Plus, it was kind of nice to have someone she could fall asleep on. 

Vanya had struggled for a long time to sleep at night, and, as soon as Five had averted the apocalypse and essentially moved in with her at one point, he started sleeping beside her, knowing that it offered her comfort. Before he’d gotten his adult body, he hadn’t made a move at all to touch her while he slept on the other side of the bed, only touching if she took his hand at any point. She wasn’t sure if he had done so out of his own discomfort with his own body or if it was because he was trying to respect her boundaries. Because she hadn’t known, she never tried to cuddle with him until he had gotten his adult body, not wanting to cause him any more discomfort than he already clearly felt. 

Now, though, he slept in her bed every night and would carry her there if she fell asleep on him out of sheer exhaustion after work. He was always careful to never wake her up when he did so, though she knew it had to be him. 

Each morning, he’d make coffee for her and some sort of breakfast. Five was trying to learn how to cook, but he wasn’t precisely talented at it. Still, it was nice to know that he did so much to ensure that she was taken care of.

At one point, she realized that he  _ was  _ trying to prove a point. Just not to anybody besides  _ her.  _ He was legitimately trying to prove that he would be a good husband, and she realized that he actually  _ did  _ want to get married. 

When she realized, she sort of just accepted it. 

“You really want to get married, don’t you?” Vanya asked him one day, looking up from her typewriter. He’d encouraged her to start writing again, realizing that she needed an outlet. Any time she struggled at Icarus, he told her that nobody would judge her if she had to take a break from violin for a while. She was pretty certain she’d damned herself from the first chair, considering the fact that she hardly ever practiced outside of work. Every time she held the instrument in her hands, her hands would shake. Five went to all of her open rehearsals, and she knew that he could tell she wanted to quit. Sometimes, she thought about publishing more books, wanting to make a career out of that instead. 

Five frowned at her. “Yes, I want to get married. Was that not clear?”

“It’s just… do you really think that’s actually something you want?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you.”

“Oh…” She glanced down. “What if you found somebody else, though? Somebody more like you?”

“I would never want to be with somebody exactly like me, for one thing. For another, we’re compatible in the ways that actually matter. And you’re the only person I could ever stand to be around for the rest of my life.”

She blinked. “Alright, fine. Yeah. I agree.”

_“Technically,_ you already had.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to go ahead and make this three chapters!

“I’m beginning to think that Five is hiding something from us,” Allison said over the phone while Vanya started tugging on her suit. She and Five would be at the courthouse around noon, so she had to rush to get ready. “He sent all of us besides you two on this vacation, and he also gave us a credit card and told us to stay as long as we want or go somewhere else for all he cares. I’m pretty sure he also just owns a few houses because this place is definitely owned by him?”

Vanya raised her brows. “He’s fine.”

“Yeah, but why didn’t he go with us?”

“Probably because he hates being around people in confined spaces, which is like… all vacations really are.”

“Vanya, I think he’s trying to murder you.”

She snorted. “No, we’re getting married today, and he didn’t want you guys there-”

_ “What?” _

“You can’t get a plane in time, so I feel like he won’t get mad for mentioning it to you.”

“How long have you two been planning on this?”

“Uh, a few months?”

“You didn’t tell me you were engaged for  _ months?”  _

“Well, yeah. No offense, Allison, but you do realize that if you were invited to our wedding you’d immediately make it a bigger deal than it actually is?”

“You two getting married is  _ huge,  _ Vanya. Don’t get married today. We’ll have a great wedding for you two, I promise. I know a few wedding planners off the top of my head, but… what if  _ I  _ was your wedding planner instead?”

Part of her wished she could be as callous as Five. She was pretty certain that this would end with her agreeing to Allison being her wedding planner, and Allison taking over her wedding somehow. Of course, she could always  _ lie  _ and then her and Five could have a second wedding to make her happy. Neither she nor Five would  _ want  _ to have an actual wedding, but she figured that it was the least she could do. She and Allison had  _ just  _ started being friends, and it wasn’t like it would be  _ awful.  _ “Sure, Allison. You can be my wedding planner, but… what if you were also my maid of honor?”

She squealed, starting to ramble to her about all of the plans she had for them. Vanya grimaced, not arguing with any of her plans at all. Five would probably understand, and, if not, that was his problem. 

“Hey, Allison, I’ve gotta go. When you guys get back, we’ll talk more, okay?”

“Yeah, okay, sure. I love you, V. See you soon!”

Vanya mumbled the words back, just the slightest bit guilty. When she set the phone down, she hastily brushed out her hair. Five would be there to pick her up at any second, and she was starting to feel nervous, wondering if Allison had been so upset because she’d thought it was a hasty decision. As she started tugging her hair into a ponytail, she could feel panic setting in. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

She turned around, startled. Five was standing behind her, hands full. Vanya hadn’t even realized he was there until he spoke. 

“You’re crying,” he said, reaching forward and brushing the tears from her eyes. She leaned forward, letting him embrace her but not speaking. When she glanced up, he repeated, “What’s wrong, Vanya?”

“Do you think this is a bad idea?”

He arched a brow. “Where is this coming from?”

“I’m worried that everybody will think that we made this decision too fast…”

“And what do  _ you _ think…?”

He sounded too casual about it, like he was forcing himself to be calm. “Would you be mad if we waited?”

“No… I mean...” He cleared his throat. “I would be a little upset, but I wouldn’t be upset with _you_ about it. However, do you really not want to get married today, Vanya?”

Honestly? She really wanted to get married today, but she was worried what the others would think. “Do  _ you  _ think this is too fast?”

“I mean, we’ve known each other all of our lives, Vanya, and I have waited to be with you for decades. This isn’t exactly a decision that I made on a whim.”

“You really want to get married to me?” she whispered. 

“Of course I do.” He leaned down to kiss her forehead. “I promise.”

“I want to get married today,” she admitted. “Also, uh… Allison is going to have another wedding for us.”

“Sounds about right.” There was a smile in his voice. “You’re sure, though? Because we really can wait if you want to.”

“It’s not you that I’m uncertain about,” Vanya said, looking up at him worriedly. “You know that, right?”

“What are you uncertain about, then?”

“Just that… I don’t have the best track record when it comes to my love life. When I talked to Allison, I just started remembering…” She didn’t finish her sentence, feeling guilty for even comparing Five to Leonard. It wasn’t that she thought him to be the same at all, and he’d proven over and over and over again that he wasn’t like him at all. (And, really, he didn’t even have to prove it to her. She knew that he’d never do anything to hurt her.)

He grabbed her hand, tugging her to her couch and sitting down beside her, eyes imploring. “I promise you that I would  _ never  _ do anything that he did, Vanya. You can trust me, and, if I ever broke that trust, I can assure you I wouldn’t stop you if you tried to-” 

Before Five could tell her that he would gladly die before he was a bad husband, Vanya hastened to say, “I know you wouldn’t hurt me, Five. You’re my best friend.”

When he pressed his hand against her cheek, she murmured, “I wish we had never been separated at all.”

“I do too.” It wasn’t a confession, not at all. Both of them had wanted to be together for so long, and they both were well-aware of that fact. “We may not have as much time together, now, but I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

She kissed him. “Okay. Let’s go get married, then.”

* * *

Because Five couldn’t take up his old identity, his name was legally James Harrison, which he’d not informed her of until thirty minutes before entering the courthouse. 

“Wait, does your driver’s license actually say that?”

“Yeah.”

“Who are your parents, according to this?”

“They died tragically in a plane crash. Sometimes I can still hear my mother, Martha’s, voice.”

“Did you hack government databases to give yourself another identity?”

“Eh. Technically. In the grand scheme of things, it’s like one of the  _ least  _ illegal things I’ve done.”

She made a concerned noise. 

“You do realize that by state records that I’m legally dead, anyways, right?”

“You are?”

“Yeah, I mean… Reginald couldn’t have just been like,  _ ‘oh, fuck! I forgot one of my kids is missing!’  _ My obituary was  _ hilarious, _ by the way.  I’m pretty sure he had Grace write it, based on the fact that one of the lines in there was,  _ ‘He was five foot two upon his passing.’  _ Although while Grace was an android, the emotional robot  _ was  _ Reginald, so maybe he  _ did _ write it.” 

Vanya glanced away. Even though Five was saying this all with an easy tone, she couldn’t help but feel disgusted with Reginald again. “He just… said that you  _ died?” _

Five squeezed her hand. “It’s fine, Vanya. I actually kind of appreciate not being legally his child anymore. Though I don’t really know if he’d ever adopted us, or if he’d used money or Allison’s powers to make people not ask questions.”

A part of her wanted to keep talking, but she also didn’t want to dwell on that. This was supposed to be a happy day for them. Thankfully, they were being called forward by that point. 

Because they’d agreed that they could have all of the vows and everything else be at the ceremony Allison was planning, the entire process didn’t take long at all. When she realized how short it was, she was a little glad to indulge her sister, figuring that she would probably draw it out long enough that Vanya could actually have time to  _ make  _ a memory. 

However, when Five pulled away from her, grinning, and he suggested they go to Griddy’s, she couldn’t help but be thankful for the ceremony they did have. She accepted her husband’s hand, not caring that once Allison got home she’d probably figure it out or that some people might view this as hasty. This was supposed to be a happy day, and she wouldn’t let it not be. Not when she was the happiest she’d been in her entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!!! Last chapter will be out eventually!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is now finally done, and I’m so happy to have another WIP out of the way. Though this was just a three-shot, I really had a lot of fun with this fic, and I am a _little_ sad to see it go. By this point, I have nearly all my fic-mas fics for fiveya _completed_ , and it’s making me realize that I haven’t even posted all of my fics for the other ships... I promise you that they’ll happen at some point... and they will probably be backdated. 😔
> 
> I will post the third chapter of “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (a Man After Midnight) in a few minutes, and, at the end notes, I’m going to attach an update survey that will be added to all of my fics until about the second week of April.

“You did _what?”_

Allison, fuming in front of her and Five, had just had the news broken to her. Unfortunately, he had not been very delicate at all when he’d told her, and she could sense that her sister was a few seconds from snapping. Five, serenely drinking his coffee with his arm around her waist, seemed to be almost _angling_ towards Allison snapping. Her husband’s twin kept shooting him looks, like he was trying to tell him to stop looking like so much of a bastard, which was an impossibility as of this point. 

“We weren’t trying to hurt your feelings,” Vanya promised. “It was just… We wanted our wedding to be special. Without the…”

“Without you trying to project your own problems onto our wedding,” her husband supplied cheerily. “Plus, you can’t be mad at Vanya and I for having the wedding that we wanted. It wasn’t _your_ wedding.”

“What do you mean?” Allison gasped. “Wasn’t _my_ wedding? I was her _maid of honor,_ Five. It was much more _my_ wedding than _yours.”_

Five raised his brows. “You’re trying to tell my opinions, as the _groom,_ weren’t as important as yours.”

“Yes. Exactly. Honestly, how do people call you the _smart_ one?”

He was clearly about to argue, but he took one look at his twin and huffed out a sigh. “You can still throw a reception or whatever if you want, but I don’t understand _why_ you even would want to do so. It’s not about—”

“Do not finish that sentence, Five Hargreeves. I will not _hesitate—”_

“Can we please stop fighting?” Vanya whimpered. “It’s not that huge of a deal. I’ll do whatever Allison asks. Even wear…” She shuddered. “Even wear whatever dress Allison puts me in.”

“I can assure you that it won’t be more grand than mine,” Allison promised. “You wouldn’t upstage me at all, don’t worry.”

“Gee, thanks, Allison.”

* * *

Three weeks later, Vanya was forced to be at the most absurdly lavish party she’d ever attended in her life (Allison and Five having finally agreed on a reception instead), with guests that she didn’t know (at least, she didn’t know them _personally,_ though she supposed she’d seen a few on TV), wearing the largest and gaudiest dress that any human being had ever laid eyes on (though her sister had not been lying when she had said she’d make sure to not let Vanya upstage her). Five, dressed in a simple suit that looked much more comfortable, offered her flutes of champagne at every turn, kissing her cheek each time he did. Several people had already hit on him, and he was clearly smug about it, loudly announcing that he loved his wife at every opportunity he was given. (She wasn’t sure if he was more smug about people finding him attractive or that he was married to her, but, based off the way that he shouted that she was his wife at least fifty seven times in the past few hours, she was pretty certain it was the latter.) 

“You think that Allison will mind if we leave early?” Five remarked, taking a sip of the champagne that she was holding. “It is _her_ wedding reception, after all. Maybe we could get something to eat. Or, you know, go on a honeymoon, which we haven’t been able to do yet.”

“Where would we go?”

“To eat or to travel?”

“Either.”

Shooting her a quick grin, he told her, “Wherever you want. Though we should get you out of that dress first, probably.”

Vanya’s eyes widened. “We can’t have…” She checked both ways to make sure nobody was listening in. _“Sex._ Not here, I mean.”

Five snorted. “I just meant that that would be uncomfortable to walk around in, though I’m not opposed to that, though. You’re welcome to wear that dress, but I feel that it has to weigh at _least_ forty pounds.”

“Why _did_ she put me in this?”

“Did you not take note of what she was wearing?”

“You mean an ivory, drop waist, ballgown with a sweetheart neckline? Yeah, trust me, I noticed.”

“She looks nice, at least.” Five shrugged. “If having a fancy party was important to you, I’d be a lot more upset, but as it is… Well, I mean, she’s having fun.” 

“That’s true,” Vanya allowed. “She is. Enough that I doubt she’d even notice if we left. We could have our honeymoon, where we don’t have to interact with anyone else for as long as we want.”

“Sounds perfect.” He kissed her cheek. “Do you want to get something to eat first?”

“Sure. Well, that and change out of this dress. Would you be willing to take me to our place real quick?”

“Absolutely. We could pack some clothes, too, that way.”

Vanya kissed him, muttering, “Don’t let her see us sneak out.”

Five’s eyes sparkled amusedly, wrapping his arms around her and blinking her to their place. While he packed bags for both of them, she searched around her drawers for something to throw on, finally deciding on one of his shirts that she sometimes slept in.

“Hey, Five, dear, could you help me get this off?” she called out, and he nodded, grinning at her use of a pet name for him. 

“Do you know how I take this off?” Five asked, lifting up her hair. 

She glanced back at him, critically eyeing the thing. “You have a few knives, don’t you?”

“That seems like a terrible idea.”

“Rip it, then.”

Raising his brows, he turned her around, adjusting her position before pulling at the fabric. When the dress fell to the floor, he helped her into his shirt, buttoning it up. “You’re so beautiful,” he told her, leaning down to kiss her. “I’m so happy to be married to you.” 

“I’m happy to be married to you, too.” She hugged him. “Was there anywhere you wanted to go in particular?”

“Not necessarily. Everywhere I have travelled has either been for the Academy or for the Commission, so anywhere I go with _you_ is perfect. Though if there’s any place you want to go…”

“We can figure that out later. I _do_ want to take a plane, instead of using your powers.”

He looked offended. “Why don’t you want to use my powers?”

“Because I don’t want you to be exhausted the entire time we’re on our honeymoon. Plus, I want to see how much you whine about how you’re faster than planes. It will be cute.”

Five sighed. “I am _only_ agreeing to that because I want you to keep calling me cute.”

“Excellent.” She beamed at him, pulling on a pair of sweatpants that would be comfortable on the plane ride. Five finished up packing their bags before he set out his hand, telling her that she had to at _least_ let him take her to the airport. Vanya, figuring it was good for his pride, took his hand and agreed. 

By the time they got to the airport, they were able to buy tickets for a flight to New York that would leave in the next two hours, and Vanya asked him if they could get some coffee at the cafe in the terminal while they waited, which he agreed to fervently, tugging her to the coffee shop. They ordered quickly, sitting down together and holding hands. 

“You know, I’m really proud of us for lasting as long as we did at that reception,” Vanya remarked, running her thumb over his wedding ring while she stared at his tattoo, remembering the day he’d gotten it. She wondered briefly how it had stayed on him with any of the drastic changes on his body, but then he still had every single scar he’d accumulated over the years as well, always raising his brows when she’d touch them, looking almost self-conscious, like he worried that she might have a problem with them. Without much thought to the action, she pressed her lips to the tattoo, adding. “Though I’m glad that we’re done with it, and I’m excited for our honeymoon.”

“I am too.” He offered her a sweet smile, standing up to grab his black coffee and her latte. When he got back, he said, “I _am_ irritated that I have to go on a plane, though, when they’re as slow as they are.”

“Yeah, but we can’t cuddle when you teleport, to be fair.”

Five frowned at her. “I would argue with you on that, but, no, I don’t think that’s possible.” 

“You get tired if you teleport too much,” she told him, sipping her latte. “Plus, I’m not as used to it as you are, and I get nauseous.”

“Alright, you make a fair point. We’ll take planes the entire time. I _do_ like spending Reginald’s inheritance, I suppose.”

She laughed. “That’s the spirit. Also, after New York, I think we should try to go to Paris. I really want to see the Eiffel Tower, after that mission you had forever ago.”

“Oh, I had already forgotten about it, honestly. Yeah, we can absolutely do that.”

Right before they got on the plane, she got a call from Allison, who told her that she was happy for them. And that she had to convince Ben, Klaus, and Diego to let her throw _their_ wedding when they had one. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you’d like, please fill out [this survey](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc8iaFKvzwkgOKxal7pZHAM3kql9zEPYRJmGwAiJj1gxuDk5w/viewform), which will let me know which fics you guys would like to see updated. My goal is to post three updates to my fics a day for the rest of March and the entirety of April, so, if there are fics you guys are interested in, it would be super helpful to see your responses.💕🥰

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!! If you’re reading my fic-mas fics for other ships btw, they will be coming soon!!! I intend for fiveya to be done first and then plan to go alluther —> benkliego—> horrance—> kliego—> benfiveya—> benya —> vanyallison. There will also be one (1) luego fic that is 100% bc one of my friends ships them so much LMAO.


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